PHONE CALL FOR YOU: IT'S MC HAMMER.

You: Hello?

MC Hammer: Hey, it’s me. Listen, you need a low-crotch pant. I swear, it’s cool.

You: Come on, man. We’ve had this conversation.

Hammer: No, this time I really I mean it. I admit that I was wrong before, but it turns out that sometime after the 90’s it became timelessly cool to have a pant where the crotch was just the right amount of dropped.

You: Dude, I’m not even in the band anymore. In fact, these days I’m a cardiologist on the Upper East Side.

Hammer: And a damned fine one you are! Still, here you are. It’s mid-life. You’re reinventing. And better late than never. A lightly drop-crotched pant – one where the waist stays where God intended – is one of those great, fresh things to have in your wardrobe that keeps you looking cool, keeps you looking in the game.

You: Fine, I'll watch Max’s studio video of the Low-fi Pant. Happy?

Hammer: That’s the spirit! You can touch this!